Love means growth for both myself and the person I love. If I love you, 1 am growing as a result of my love. You are a stimulant for me to become more fully what i’ might become, and my loving enhances your being as well. We each grow as a result of caring and being cared for; we each share in an enriching experience that doesn’t detract from our being. Love means making a commitment to the person I love. This com mitment doesn’t entail surrendering our total selves to each other; nor does it imply that the relationship is necessarily permanent. It does entail a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain, uncertainty, strug gle, and despair, as well as in times of calm and enjoyment, love means trusting the person ! love. If I love you, I trust that you will accept my caring and my love and that you won’t deliberately hurt me. I trust that you will find me lovable and that you won’t abandon me; I trust the reciprocal nature of our love. If we trust each other, we are willing to be open to each other and can shed masks and pretenses and reveal our true selves.