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I suppose that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention, and especially if it"s given from the heart. When people are talking, there"s no need to do anything but receive them. Listen to what they"re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don"t value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of simple saying "I"m so sorry." when someone is in pain.One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell her story, people often interrupted to tell her that they once had something just like that happening to her. Subtly, her pain became a story about them. Eventually she stopped talking to most people. We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know we care.I have ever learned to respond to someone crying by just listening. In the old clays I used to reach for the handkerchiefs, until I realized that passing a person a handkerchief may be just another way to shut him down, to take them out of their experience of sadness. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them.This simple thing has not been that easy to learn. It certainly went against everything I had been taught since I was very young. I thought people listened only because they were too shy to speak or did not know the answer. But now I know that a loving silence often has far more power to heal than the kindest words. What does the author value most in the communication with each other
When I begin planning to move to Auckland to study, my mother was worried about a lack of jobs and cultural differences. Ignoring these 1 , I got there in July 2010. 2 I arrived, I realized the importance of getting a job 3 my living experience. Determined to do this 4 , I spent several weeks going door-to-door for a job, but found 5 response (回应).One afternoon, I walked into a building to ask 6 there were any job opportunities. The people there advised me not to continue my job search in that 7 . As I was about to 8 , a man who had been listening approached me and asked me to wait outside 9 . Nearly ten minutes later, he 10 . He asked me about my plans and encouraged me to stay 11 . Then he offered to take me to Royal Oak to 12 a job.I was a little surprised, but had a 13 feeling about him. Along the way, I realized that I had 14 resumes. Seeing this, the man 15 at his business partner"s office to make me fifteen 16 copies. He also gave me some 17 on dressing and speaking. I handed out my resumes and went home feeling very 18 . The following day, I received a 19 from a store in Royal Oak offering me a job.It seems that the world always 20 to you when you need it. And this time, it was a complete stranger who turned out to be a real blessing. 2（）
I suppose that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention, and especially if it"s given from the heart. When people are talking, there"s no need to do anything but receive them. Listen to what they"re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don"t value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of simple saying "I"m so sorry." when someone is in pain.One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell her story, people often interrupted to tell her that they once had something just like that happening to her. Subtly, her pain became a story about them. Eventually she stopped talking to most people. We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know we care.I have ever learned to respond to someone crying by just listening. In the old clays I used to reach for the handkerchiefs, until I realized that passing a person a handkerchief may be just another way to shut him down, to take them out of their experience of sadness. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them.This simple thing has not been that easy to learn. It certainly went against everything I had been taught since I was very young. I thought people listened only because they were too shy to speak or did not know the answer. But now I know that a loving silence often has far more power to heal than the kindest words. If you hand a handkerchief to someone crying, you may （）
In its early history, Chicago had floods frequently, especially in the spring, making the streets so muddy that people, horses, and carts got stuck. An old joke that was popular at the time went something like this: A man is stuck up to his waist in a muddy Chicago street. Asked if he needs help, he replies, "No, thanks. I"ve got a good horse under me."The city planner decided to build an underground drainage (排水) system, but there simply wasn"t enough difference between the height of the ground level and the water level. The only two options were to lower the Chicago River or raise the city.An engineer named Ellis Chesbrough convinced the city that it had no choice but to build the pipes above ground and then cover them with dirt. This raised the level of the city"s streets by as much as 12 feet.This of course created a new problem: dirt practically buried the first floors of every building in Chicago. Building owners were faced with a choice: either change the first floors of their buildings into basements, and the second stories into main floors, orhoistthe entire buildings to meet the new street level. Small wood-frame buildings could be lifted fairly easily. But what about large, heavy structures like the Tremont Hotel, which was a six-story brick buildingThat"s where George Pullman came in. He had developed some house-moving skills successfully. To lift a big structure like the Tremont Hotel, Pullman would place thousands of jackscrews (螺旋千斤顶) beneath the building"s foundation. One man was assigned to operate each section of roughly 10 jackscrews. At Pullman"s signal each man turned his jackscrew the same amount at the same time, thereby raising the building slowly and evenly. Astonishingly, the Tremont Hotel stay open during the entire operation, and many of its guests didn"t even notice anything was happening.Some people like to say that every problem has a solution. But in Chicago"s early history, every engineering solution seemed to create a new problem. Now that Chicago"s waste water was draining efficiently into the Chicago River, the city"s next step was to clean the polluted river. The author mentions the joke to show ______.
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