题目内容
Talking？
What in the world, muses Harold, do they have to talk about？
Betty shrugs. Talk？ We're friends.
Researching this matter called friendship, psychologist Lillian Rubin spent two years interviewing more than two hundred women and men. Like Betty and Harold, some were married, others single. They covered the gamut of what is chronologically called adulthood, twenty-five to fifty-five. They were blue collar, blue-blooded, and in between.
No matter their age, their occupation, their sex, their marital status, Rubin found the results were "unequivocal". Women have more friendships than men, and the difference in the content and the quality of those friendships is "marked and unmistakable".
More than two-thirds of the single men Rubin interviewed could not name a best friend. Those who could were 'likely to name a woman. Yet three-quarters of the single women had no, problem citing best friend, and almost always it was a woman. More married men than women cited a spouse as a best friend, most trusted confidant, or the one they would turn to in times of emotional distress. But even when a married woman named her husband to one of these categories, it was never exclusively his. "Most women," said Rubin, "identified at least one, usually more, trusted friends to whom they could turn in a troubled moment, and they spoke openly and ardently about the importance of these relationships in their lives."
In general, writes Rubin in her new book Intimate Strangers, "women's friendships with each other rest on shared intimacies, self-revelation, nurturance, and support." By contrast, "men's relationships are marked by shared activities." For the most part, Rubin contends, interactions between men "are emotionally contained and controlled-a good fit with the social requirements of manly behaviour."
"Even when a man claimed a best friend," Rubin wrote, "the two shared little about the interior of their lives and feelings." Whereas a woman's closest female friend might be the first to urge her to leave a failing marriage, "it wasn't unusual," Rubin discovered, "to hear a man say he didn't know his friend's marriage was in serious trouble until he appeared one night asking if he could sleep on the couch."
Women have more friends than men do,______.
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For Phillip "P. J." Stambaugh, the glamour and gold of the dotcom boom swept him from Ithaca, N.Y. to California's Silicon Valley in 1999. And when Trishna Shah selected a job at an e-commerce strategy group after graduating from college last year, it was part of a carefully planned path to "success".
Both were beneficiaries of the technology boom of the late 1990s, and both are now among its victims. Yet for many, losing a job is proving more of a beginning than an end.
Painful and frightening as the process may be, individuals caught in the dotcom downdraft say they are making fundamental changes-the kind that could, in total, alter the outlook and values of many in their generation.
One thing is already certain. The character portrait of the dotcom generation, spoiled, self-centered, and unacquainted with the real world, is rapidly disappearing. In its place, a culture is emerging that puts greater emphasis on growth and opportunity at work, and less on salary and stock options. And for many, there is a deeper questioning of the meaning of life and career, say career guidance experts.
This is a far cry from the work-is-everything, sleep under-the desk, never-log-off, get-it-while-you-can mentality that has permeated the Internet culture.
Ms. Shah graduated from University of California Berkeley's business school last year and found a waiting court of recruiters. She selected work at an e-commerce strategy group, and the pieces were all fitting together. But when Shah was laid off earlier this year, "it was a real wake-up call," she says. "In college you're constantly planning for the next phase of life, your job and your career, "she explains. "But now I'm feeling different. I'm not living just for the next step."
At about the same time Mr. Stambaugh was still thriving at his job in Redwood City. He worked in business-development department of a start up that created Internet map technology.
But that wasn't what he had in mind when he entered Cornell University and successfully pursued a degree in landscape architecture, a field that connected with his love of the outdoors and plants. After graduation in 1999, though, Stambaugh headed to Silicon Valley, persuaded by friends who were quickly landing jobs and making good money. But by last fall, Stambaugh was sending pained e-mails to his sister back east. In one, he complained that his work to create better and better Internet products had become "absent of the things I value."
The economy, in a sense, put an end to his disillusionment, forcing his dotcom out of business a few months ago.
These days, Stambaugh has less money, but an out door tan and high spirits. He is project manager for a landscape firm, spending most of his day meeting with customers and discussing their gardening and landscape dreams. "I'm a different individual now," he says. "I'm happy on a real high level."
Of course there are many still employed in the Internet world, and loving it. But even among the employed, there is a new uncertainty. The unemployment rate in Santa Clara Country for April jumped sharply, a reminder that the flow of pink slips could continue to accelerate.
Even for many of those who continue to work in technology, attitudes seem different. Says Mr. Epperheimer: "The pendulum has moved back to a more balanced approach to work and life."
The experience of Ms. Shah and Mr. Stambaugh is described mainly to show that______.
Two of our leading foreign correspondents, Orla Guerin, of the BBC, and Marie Colvin, of the Sunday Times, have publicly decried the notion that Ridley had no business running around Afghanistan and getting herself captured. The male correspondents, they pointed out, have children too and no one tells them off or publishes details of their "abandoned" children.
Quite so. Women have just as much business reporting from the front line. These days female correspondents are way up there among the best of them, all leaders in their field. "All of us leave people behind," says Guerin, "parents, family."
Yes, this is a Wench. Having been a Moscow correspondent during the turbulent Nineties I know all too well the emotional conflict of putting yourself into dangerous situations halfway across the world from parents you care about. But this is a millions miles removed from leaving a child behind.
Having a child is what Jane Shilling described as the "unbridgeable barrier of experience" which no parent can successfully communicate to a non-parent, just as the non-bereaved cannot empathise with the bereaved: you have to join the club to understand.
There are exceptions--the excellent Maggie O' Kane, of the Guardian, and Christian, Lamb, of The Sunday Telegraph--but otherwise it is notable that none of the women mentioned above is a mother, and many former correspondents, such as Diana Goodman, who was the BBC's first female foreign correspondent and, later, the first female correspondent to be posted with a child, have found hard-nosed reporting incompatible with motherhood and have moved on to home postings. So while I would fiercely defend the right of any mother to head for the trouble-spots if she wants to, the truth is that few do.
When I was expecting my first child, I heard that one of the editors on the paper I then worked for said that "a woman with a child can't be a proper foreign correspondent' and was duly outraged. By the time the second wave of the hechen War hit the headlines, I was a mother. While the professional side of me longed to get straight into the thick of the fighting, to my frustration and disappointment, the mother side won hands down: the carelessness of the childless had evaporated. Although I am only now prepared to admit it, there was a grain of truth in the editor's assumption.
But is this to assume that fathers who are foreign correspondents remain unaffected？ "You'll never get anyone from the BBC to admit it publicly, but according to our corporate culture we have to be Mr. Unattached and ready to go anywhere without a backward glance", says a BBC colleague. "But having children makes you more cautious--something we are now at least prepared to admit quietly to each other. "
While they may not be prepared to admit openly to caution, there is no longer—arguably thanks to the feminization of journalism any shame in admitting that fatherhood influences their reporting.
The fact that he is a father has been central to much of Fergal Keane's sensitive reporting, while the BBC's Ben Brown talked, on Radio 4's From Our Own Correspondent, about how having young children meant that he can no longer remain detached when reporting atrocities involving children. "I remember reporting the Rwanda Massacres when my daughter was one year old," recalls another colleague, "I freaked out, and as soon as I got home I had to go straight to the baby's cot and hold her. "
At a time when men are increasingly prepared to acknowledge that fatherhood affects their professional life
A．It can measure the driver's alcohol level in the blood.B．It bases its analysis on th
A．The effects of music do not last long.B．Piano music could interfere with your reason
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