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如果去参加一个有许多陌生人在场的聚会，你首先应该去寻找比较熟悉的人，这对于消除紧张心理、稳定______很有帮助。万一找不到熟人，你也不必紧张，此时先别忙着开口，而是用耳朵去听，用眼睛去看。______打量每个在场的陌生人，如果你发现这些人中，有一个人和你一样没有熟人，孤单单地坐在角落里，你可以______走到他跟前，向他做自我介绍，同他交谈几句。这时无论是他还是你，都会为摆脱了窘境和孤单而感到高兴。
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过程是一根线，结果是一个点。就拿登山来说，在登山的过程中，你可以走走停停，欣赏鲜花，______美景，享受清风的抚摸，静听小鸟的鸣唱。这一路上的胜景，就好像用一根线串在一起，串成一连串的幸福，系在心间。而登山的结果，就是登上山顶。也许在山顶你能享受到一种征服山峰的幸福，但这种幸福______是暂时的，因为山顶只是一个点，你终究要从这个点走下来，随着你走下山顶，那种在山顶上的幸福感也就______了。过程是绵长的，结果是短暂的。一根线的幸福，是拥有无数点的幸福，而一个点的幸福，______，瞬间就会过去。
When you have to meet someone from a different culture, be prepared. If you understand cultural differences, you"ll be a better 1 —even before you open your mouth!In many Western cultures, men stand up before they are introduced to someone 2 . Standing up shows politeness and respect. After that, someone will usually offer to shake hands. But in the East, 3 introductions often begin and end with bowing rather than shaking hands.Now, let"s look at the simple introduction of shaking hands. Americans like a 4 handshake. But the French 5 a light, short handshake. If you shake a Frenchman"s hand the American way, he may think you"re 6 .People in Eastern European countries and some Latino cultures prefer shorter handshakes, too. Hugging after shaking hands is also a common introduction. Don"t be scared or 7 if you meet someone in Brazil and he gives you a hug. If you 8 this gesture, your friendship may not start well!The proper customs for eye contact vary between cultures, too. Westerners appreciate regular eye contact during conversations. Refusing to look a Westerner in the eye may be understood as lack of trust, or maybe 9 . But in some African countries, too much eye contact can offend or sometimes have romantic meanings. Some people in Middle Eastern countries may appear to have their eyes half-closed while talking to you. Although it might seem like they"re tired or bored, such behavior is normal and should not be taken 10 .A. therapy B. uncultured C. boredom D. therebyE. prefer F. firm G. misinterpret H. personallyI. insignificant J. communicator K. important L. illustrateM. offended N. typical O. image
Seven Ways to Create a Happy HouseholdA Every family is different, with different personalities, customs, and ways of thinking, talking, and connecting to one another. There is no one "right" kind of family. But whether parents are strict or tolerant, irritable or calm, home has to be a place of love, encouragement, and acceptance of their feelings and individuality for kids to feel emotionally safe and secure. It also has to be a source of don"ts and limits. Most of us want such an atmosphere to prevail in our homes, but with today"s stresses this often seems harder and harder to achieve. From time to time it helps to take stock and think about the changes we could make to improve our home"s emotional climate. Here are a few that will.1. Watch What You SayB How we talk to our children every day is part of the emotional atmosphere we weave. Besides giving them opportunities to be open about how they feel, we have to watch what we say and how we say it. We often forget how much kids take parental criticisms to heart and how much these affect their feelings about themselves. Psychologist Martin Seligman found that when parents consistently blame kids in exaggerated ways, children feel overly guilty and ashamed and withdraw emotionally. Look at the difference between "Roger, this room is always a pigsty! You are such a lazy boy!" and "Roger, your room is a mess today! Before you go out to play, it has to be picked up." One way tells Roger he can never do anything right. The other tells him exactly what to do to fix things so he can be back in his mom"s good graces and doesn"t suggest he has a permanent character flaw. For criticism to be constructive for children, we have to cite causes that are specific and temporary. Another constructive way to criticize children is" to remind them of the impact their actions have on us. This promotes understanding rather than resentment.2. Provide Order and StabilityC A predictable dally framework, clear and consistent rules, and an organized house make kids—and parents—more relaxed and comfortable, and that means everyone has emotional balance. When conflicts, tensions, or crises occur, the routine is a reassuring and familiar support, a reliable harbor of our lives that won"t change. Think about your mornings. Do your kids go off to school feeling calm and confident Or are they upset and ill-tempered What about evenings and bedtime Do you have angry fights over homework or how much TV children can watch A calm bedtime routine is one good medicine for the dark fears that surface when kids are alone in bed with the lights turned out. Yet a routine that"s too inflexible doesn"t make room for kids" individual personalities, preferences, and characters.3. Hold Family MeetingsD Time together is such a precious time in most households that many families, like the Martins, hold regular family meetings so everyone can air and resolve the week"s worries as well as share the good things that happened. When the Martins gather on Friday night, they also take the opportunity to anticipate what"s scheduled for the week ahead. That way they eliminate (mostly!) those last minute anxieties over whether someone has soccer shoes for the first practice, the books for a report, or a ride to a music lesson.4. Encourage Loving FeelingsE Everyday life is full of opportunities to establish loving connections with our kids. Researchers have found that parents who spend time playing, joking with, and sharing their own thoughts and feelings with their kids have children who are more friendly, generous, and loving. After all, giving love fosters love, and what convinces our kids that we love them more than our willingness to spend time with them. Many parents say that often they feel most in tune emotionally with their kids when they just hang out together—sprawling on the bed to watch TV, walking down the block together to mail a letter, talking on long car rides when kids know they have a parent"s complete attention. At these times the hurt feelings and the secret fears are finally mentioned. Part of encouraging loving feelings is insisting that kids treat others, including siblings, with kindness, respect, and fairness—at least some of the time. In one family, kids write on a chart in the kitchen at the end of each day the name of someone who did something nice for them.5. Create RitualsF Setting aside special times of the day or week to come together as a family gives children a sense of continuity—that certain feelings stay the same even as the kids change and grow. For many families, like my friend Frances", that means regularly observing religious rituals. To her family, Sunday morning means going to Mass and having hot chocolate afterwards at the town café. Others create their own rituals to anchor the week. Michael"s family celebrates with a regular Scrabble and pizza party every Friday night; Dawn"s goes to the movies. Holiday rituals give children points in the year to look forward to.6. Handle Challenges with CompassionG Home life today is not always stable and secure. Even the best marriages have fights, economic difficulties, and emotional ups-and-downs. Parents divorce, stepfamilies form, and these changes challenge the most loving parents. But troubles are part of the human condition. Loving families don"t ignore them—they try to create a strong emotional climate despite them. In handling parental conflicts, for example, we can let kids know when everything has been resolved, as Denise and Peter did after a loud dispute in the kitchen during which voices were raised and tears flowed. After making up, they explained to their kids, "Sometimes we disagree and lose our tempers, too. But now we"ve worked it out. We"re sorry that you heard our fight."7. Schedule Parent-Only TimeH Parents are the ones who create a home"s atmosphere. When we"re upset about how much money we owe, worried about downsizing at the company where we work, or angry at a spouse, that charges the emotional atmosphere in ways kids find threatening. As one friend said plaintively, "Parents need special time, too." Taking a tong walk together to talk without our kids may go a long way to relieve worries and regular "parent-only" dates help us reexperience the love that brought us together in the first place. Kids become guilty and ashamed if they are constantly criticized by exaggerated means.
Seven Ways to Create a Happy HouseholdA Every family is different, with different personalities, customs, and ways of thinking, talking, and connecting to one another. There is no one "right" kind of family. But whether parents are strict or tolerant, irritable or calm, home has to be a place of love, encouragement, and acceptance of their feelings and individuality for kids to feel emotionally safe and secure. It also has to be a source of don"ts and limits. Most of us want such an atmosphere to prevail in our homes, but with today"s stresses this often seems harder and harder to achieve. From time to time it helps to take stock and think about the changes we could make to improve our home"s emotional climate. Here are a few that will.1. Watch What You SayB How we talk to our children every day is part of the emotional atmosphere we weave. Besides giving them opportunities to be open about how they feel, we have to watch what we say and how we say it. We often forget how much kids take parental criticisms to heart and how much these affect their feelings about themselves. Psychologist Martin Seligman found that when parents consistently blame kids in exaggerated ways, children feel overly guilty and ashamed and withdraw emotionally. Look at the difference between "Roger, this room is always a pigsty! You are such a lazy boy!" and "Roger, your room is a mess today! Before you go out to play, it has to be picked up." One way tells Roger he can never do anything right. The other tells him exactly what to do to fix things so he can be back in his mom"s good graces and doesn"t suggest he has a permanent character flaw. For criticism to be constructive for children, we have to cite causes that are specific and temporary. Another constructive way to criticize children is" to remind them of the impact their actions have on us. This promotes understanding rather than resentment.2. Provide Order and StabilityC A predictable dally framework, clear and consistent rules, and an organized house make kids—and parents—more relaxed and comfortable, and that means everyone has emotional balance. When conflicts, tensions, or crises occur, the routine is a reassuring and familiar support, a reliable harbor of our lives that won"t change. Think about your mornings. Do your kids go off to school feeling calm and confident Or are they upset and ill-tempered What about evenings and bedtime Do you have angry fights over homework or how much TV children can watch A calm bedtime routine is one good medicine for the dark fears that surface when kids are alone in bed with the lights turned out. Yet a routine that"s too inflexible doesn"t make room for kids" individual personalities, preferences, and characters.3. Hold Family MeetingsD Time together is such a precious time in most households that many families, like the Martins, hold regular family meetings so everyone can air and resolve the week"s worries as well as share the good things that happened. When the Martins gather on Friday night, they also take the opportunity to anticipate what"s scheduled for the week ahead. That way they eliminate (mostly!) those last minute anxieties over whether someone has soccer shoes for the first practice, the books for a report, or a ride to a music lesson.4. Encourage Loving FeelingsE Everyday life is full of opportunities to establish loving connections with our kids. Researchers have found that parents who spend time playing, joking with, and sharing their own thoughts and feelings with their kids have children who are more friendly, generous, and loving. After all, giving love fosters love, and what convinces our kids that we love them more than our willingness to spend time with them. Many parents say that often they feel most in tune emotionally with their kids when they just hang out together—sprawling on the bed to watch TV, walking down the block together to mail a letter, talking on long car rides when kids know they have a parent"s complete attention. At these times the hurt feelings and the secret fears are finally mentioned. Part of encouraging loving feelings is insisting that kids treat others, including siblings, with kindness, respect, and fairness—at least some of the time. In one family, kids write on a chart in the kitchen at the end of each day the name of someone who did something nice for them.5. Create RitualsF Setting aside special times of the day or week to come together as a family gives children a sense of continuity—that certain feelings stay the same even as the kids change and grow. For many families, like my friend Frances", that means regularly observing religious rituals. To her family, Sunday morning means going to Mass and having hot chocolate afterwards at the town café. Others create their own rituals to anchor the week. Michael"s family celebrates with a regular Scrabble and pizza party every Friday night; Dawn"s goes to the movies. Holiday rituals give children points in the year to look forward to.6. Handle Challenges with CompassionG Home life today is not always stable and secure. Even the best marriages have fights, economic difficulties, and emotional ups-and-downs. Parents divorce, stepfamilies form, and these changes challenge the most loving parents. But troubles are part of the human condition. Loving families don"t ignore them—they try to create a strong emotional climate despite them. In handling parental conflicts, for example, we can let kids know when everything has been resolved, as Denise and Peter did after a loud dispute in the kitchen during which voices were raised and tears flowed. After making up, they explained to their kids, "Sometimes we disagree and lose our tempers, too. But now we"ve worked it out. We"re sorry that you heard our fight."7. Schedule Parent-Only TimeH Parents are the ones who create a home"s atmosphere. When we"re upset about how much money we owe, worried about downsizing at the company where we work, or angry at a spouse, that charges the emotional atmosphere in ways kids find threatening. As one friend said plaintively, "Parents need special time, too." Taking a tong walk together to talk without our kids may go a long way to relieve worries and regular "parent-only" dates help us reexperience the love that brought us together in the first place. It is often in the some casual time like a long car ride that the kids tell their hurt feeling and secret fears to parents.
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